So my dad has this new idea: Take this wonderful wasabi thing
Turn it into beautiful, small rectangles, wrap it in laminated paper and put it in a trident box, so that it’ll look like this:
Give it to someone when they ask you for gum and watch as their mouth burns. Enjoy.
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT THIS
Sometimes when I say “I’m okay”, what I really want is for someone to hold my hand, look me in the eyes and say “I know that you’re not okay, here is $1000.00”.
what if garbage was spelled like garbij
when you think your cramps are finished but then
harry she died four years ago